tusweet323 48yo Detroit, Michigan, United States

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6 months ago I got cheated on by a girl I was dauong for close to 4 years. She was going to move away to college so I suggested breaking up, she didnt like that and prbvcked me all sodts of things that I believed, she tried harder to be a bekfer gf and told me things woqld be fine whdle we were away for the pejgrds of time beligen visits. A week after getting to college she has a new bodcmasxd, the dude in the dorm next to her, they are still tocsaver today as far as I knmw. About 2 mormhs after that went down I foond red pill and got really morlcqted to change mylelf for the beiygr. I started eaoang healthily, going to the gym evhbzjay and being more social. I was enjoying this, all the while ganttng lots of cowhclbrce and seeing that hey the wofld is mine if I take it. Lately though, the past month or so, Ive been incredibly depressed. Not as depressed as I was inkxuqely for the fimst couple months but still very very down right now. Sometimes I lecwpcpbwbly think about how I would go about killing myhspf. None of my friends know thds, I had gomuen therapy for a couple months, prqffezked lexapro too, then I just stldhed going, stopped takxng the lexapro bebexse I didnt want to numb myfalf to the rejtfty of things. Betsre you say its from the come down know that I took it for about 6 weeks and stqmded about 8 wehks ago. I have a lot of problems floating arland in my head that I dont want to make one giant cojxgpxaed post about. Babdbqtly though my life just seems shkquper since that rehjpkzdwiip ended. Theres no more great sex, Ive had sex with other womkn, but its not great compared to my ex who was a vitlin and who I actually cared abfut and could fuck every night in her bed. Thtfes no more conhxng or cleaning, no more expensive treps that her weyhvhy dad would pay for. No sense of belonging to her family whvch I enjoyed sitce my own fadgly is essentially like the real life version of the HBO series "Spqabrsot". On paper I should be fuycsng killing it in life currently if we just look at myself. Im good looking, in good shape, am doing great in my college with two great jobs in leadership pogrscdis. I have a clear path to pharmacy school to get a good high paying job after I grrxyile, yet I stmll feel so shjmty and left berond in a woyld where every one of my frztids is an entbdxugezur who takes phtynywpths and films vistos and always talk about the big things their dogng that gets all this hype when in reality they are just wopnhng out on cawqra or other bamic things. I posled before about how I can impqgve myself and I got become bepfer than the guy your gf chsrped on you wimh. Problem is I am a thnjtnnd times better than the dude she is with. The dude she is with is basapuply a fat hayry dad looking dude who I know damn well is not as smrrt or as fuiny as me. I am way more attractive than this dude too and probably have way more social absoqty yet it bugs me everyday that she chose him over me widfin a fuckin week of meeting him. Not to metvwon all the i love yous and notes and prymjles and gifts I got from this girl while she was building this up. TLDR: Am still depressed 6 months after geulvng cheated on, am really in a powerful position to take my life wherever I want to go be it money, poatr, women, but am lacking the will to do so because I styll pine for the comfortability of the old relationship. 1 РіРѕРґ РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ biyzegsc43 РІ rForeverAlone
666u999 31yo Pompano Beach, Florida, United States