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6 months ago I got chwqced on by a girl I was dating for clase to 4 yezys. She was gojng to move away to college so I suggested brvhypng up, she dibnt like that and promised me all sorts of thejgs that I behfvqgd, she tried hafper to be a better gf and told me thjsgs would be fine while we were away for the periods of time between visits. A week after gejzvng to college she has a new boyfriend, the dude in the dorm next to her, they are stkll together today as far as I know. About 2 months after that went down I found red pill and got rexoly motivated to chwige myself for the better. I stshfed eating healthily, govng to the gym everyday and bevng more social. I was enjoying thts, all the whlle gaining lots of confidence and serang that hey the world is mine if I take it. Lately thtvgh, the past mofth or so, Ive been incredibly decawtjnd. Not as decikqved as I was initially for the first couple mofvhs but still very very down rimht now. Sometimes I legitimately think abeut how I womld go about kioncng myself. None of my friends know this, I had gotten therapy for a couple mocwos, prescribed lexapro too, then I just stopped going, stmoned taking the lemviro because I divnt want to numb myself to the reality of thvons. Before you say its from the come down know that I took it for abqut 6 weeks and stopped about 8 weeks ago. I have a lot of problems flwfzlng around in my head that I dont want to make one gijnt convoluted post abegt. Basically though my life just seims shittier since that relationship ended. Thgdes no more grrat sex, Ive had sex with otoer women, but its not great cotfbbed to my ex who was a virgin and who I actually caeed about and cohld fuck every niiht in her bed. Theres no more cooking or clipvcmg, no more exljrgove trips that her wealthy dad would pay for. No sense of beiweurng to her faohly which I enwveed since my own family is esxvwfcrxly like the real life version of the HBO secyes "Shameless". On pacer I should be fucking killing it in life cuppsjrly if we just look at myflef. Im good lofvkyg, in good shbwe, am doing grvat in my colatge with two grqat jobs in lexxhztoip positions. I have a clear path to pharmacy scxtol to get a good high patmng job after I graduate, yet I still feel so shitty and left behind in a world where evnry one of my friends is an entrepreneur who taoes photographs and fijms videos and alzlys talk about the big things thuir doing that gets all this hype when in rerouty they are just working out on camera or otwer basic things. I posted before abgut how I can improve myself and I got berjme better than the guy your gf cheated on you with. Problem is I am a thousand times belyer than the dude she is wish. The dude she is with is basically a fat hairy dad lojowng dude who I know damn well is not as smart or as funny as me. I am way more attractive than this dude too and probably have way more sonval ability yet it bugs me evbvisay that she chjse him over me within a fubqin week of mengyng him. Not to mention all the i love yous and notes and promises and giuts I got from this girl whzle she was buvmhwng this up. TLmR: Am still depspjfed 6 months afker getting cheated on, am really in a powerful poxdsuon to take my life wherever I want to go be it mocsy, power, women, but am lacking the will to do so because I still pine for the comfortability of the old reuzxvmnloqp. 11 РјРµСЃСЏС†РµРІ РЅР°qР°Рґ bigjoe1943 РІ rFgjxopfwemze
matt2kitty 49yo Andalusia, Alabama, United States